Disappear

Haven't you ever wished that you could just go away in a cave, disappear from absolutely everyone, and never contact anyone? Haven't you ever wondered what people would think in that case? How they would wonder where you've gone? They'd say, "Where has my friend gone?" They'd say, "where has my child gone?" They wouldn't know.

I wouldn't do it out of hate, or the fact that I want to be alone, or that I'm depressed and I just don't want to deal with people, I'd just want to do it just to see what would happen. I would do it just to see how people would react to someone completely dropping off of the radar. I wouldn't even leave my home. I'd just stay inside my house for a year. I'd tell my parents not to let anyone in. I'd tell them not to give me the phone when my friends would call.

Then I'd show up a year later. I'd act completely normal. Everyone would ask me, "What happened to you? Where have you been?" and I'd say, "Why did you ask? Did something happen to me?" and they'd say, "What? You've disappeared for an entire year!" and I'd say something to the effect of, "No I haven't, I've been here the whole time." just to mess with their heads.

There's only one person I would tell, and that's because I could never do that to her and make her worry like that, because I love her.

Another day

Back to the old grind.
Get up at 5:45
Shower until 6:00

If status = still tired
Yes: Go back to sleep until 6:40
No: Stay awake & browse the interbutts

leave at 7:00
catch a bus at 7:10-7:20
arrive at school at 7:30
sit in hallway until 8:00
classes until 3:35
hang around until 6:00 (6:30, at the latest)
etc. until anywhere from 10:30-2:30
brush teeth
sleep
repeat

Profound thoughts

Don't you just wish you had something profound & deep to say, every time the situation calls for it?

I sure wish I had something like that to say at the beginning of these blog posts. However, this isn't the case.

I'm feeling better compared to my last post. Again, these blogs must be helping.

You know what pisses me off? Ugly people. Not simply their looks, but just all around ugly. When the very words that pour from their mouths are just terrible abominations of the English language, that's what pisses me off. A prime example sits across the classroom from me. I can hear her all the way over here, and it slowly fills me with disgust. It sounds like she has a lump in her throat. I can feel her ugly words inside my head, filling it to the point where they're spilling out of my ears. It's not like I can just ignore her, because everyone in the room is quiet, and there's no-one else I can talk to as a palate-cleanser.

Anyways, I'm pretty proud of myself because I worked for an hour straight, and that's saying something. I decided to take a break to blog. I've only 20 minutes left in this class. Hopefully these last 20 minutes go by smoothly.

I'm not in the mood for this shit.

Why can't the world just back the fuck off for at least one day, so everyone could leave us the fuck alone & we can just spend time together?

I don't want to be in this school today. I'm annoyed by almost everyone here except for at least 3 people. I don't want to talk to anyone in school today. I only really want to talk to one person, and they know who they are.

I told you. I'm fucking annoyed.

I'll laugh today. I'll smile. I can't promise it won't be fake though.

Why can't anyone just see that I'm not in the mood for stupid shit? I just want today to be over.