Obligations

What the fuck is my problem?

Like, why can't I just learn to tell people no?

I shouldn't feel obligated to do everything that everyone asks me.

I bet you that if some random person comes up to me

and asks me to do something, I'll probably do it.

Why can't I fucking say no?

And then when I do say no, or make up some excuse why I can't, I feel bad. Like I'm letting that person down.

I'm only fucking human

and I don't want to stay after school Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday for the next two weeks.

especially since I'm already staying on Monday and Thursday willingly.

Which means I'd be here every day for the next two weeks.

Fuck that.

No.

No.

No.

I'm going to work up the courage to tell you that I don't feel up to this

and I'm extremely sorry

and I would love to

but I'm already fucking stressed

and this bullshit will just make it worse.

because I can't do it. If I stay at school every single day this week

I won't have time to do homework

So I'll cut into sleeping time

And then I'll be tired for school

and then I'll give up doing homework

and then I'll give up on school

and then I'll fail.

I'm done.

Fuck you.

I'm done.

On a completely unrelated note:

I miss you :(