Melodious Melodies

Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are.

Have you ever stopped to just look at the varying subtleties and intricacies that come with a melody? Something like Twinkle Twinkle.

CC GG AA G
FF EE DD C

Simple little notes. 6 different notes, played in such a way that is easily recognizable by anyone within earshot of the piano, and the pianist playing the little tune. However, what honestly makes these 6 little notes work together? What if it went:

CC GG CC G
FF EE FF E

It's not the same anymore, is it? Sure, it could be a song of it's own. However, if you've ever tried writing a song, you know from experience that certain notes just don't sound right when you put them next to each other. I couldn't give you an example off the top of my head, but just think about it. Say you started off with one simple note: C.

Where do you go after C? You kind of play around a little on the ivory and ebony keys of the piano. C#? No. Not quite right. Not what you're looking for. Gb? No. Too... flat. Then you start to get bold. Go where no man's gone before. maybe you go to G? you test the key. you play C, then G, both being half notes. You realize that maybe, just maybe, if you played C twice and then G twice, it would sound better. So you do. It sounds wonderful to your ears, so you quickly scribble it down.

You continue the pattern of testing out which notes go well with the previous one you've found. All of a sudden, you've got a masterpiece. You put lyrics to it, and you've got a wonderful song on your hands.

Now, who are you to say that going from CC to GG sounds good? I bet there is one person out there who doesn't like that transition of notes. One person out there who shows distaste for the soundwaves that enter their ears when they hear C-G. It's nothing personal, they just don't like it.

And that's the beauty of songwriting. When you write a song, you're not keeping in mind, "oh god, do people like the way this sounds? How about this? Or this?" You're writing what you like to hear; you're writing the chords and notes you want to play.

So, who am I to say "you can't play C and then G#!" For fuck's sake, go out there and play ybour goddamn C and then G#! Because I can't tell you that doesn't sound right. And if I tell you that it doesn't sound right, I'd be damned if I could prove you wrong.



Look, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. It's just a thought that came into my head & I rolled with it.

Melancholy Hill

I hate how now, I can't figure out if my plans and thoughts are because I'm crazy or not.
Like, I can't figure out if I'm making plans because of a mental disorder or something
Or if I'm making these plans because I actually want to complete them.

However, I know when I'm not being crazy.
I'm not being crazy when I say I love you.
I'm not being crazy when I say that I just want to wrap myself around you.
I just want to surround you with myself, draw you into me, and keep you there.
I just want to hold you close and tight.
I love you.

I want you here. Because with you I'm not crazy. Because you're my medicine. When you're close to me.

You think you're so damn funny because you can post things like "hahahahahaha", and you think you're so awesome cause you can hide behind Facebook comments and say "hahahahahaha".

Well you're not.
and you're not.
So fuck off.

NaNoWriMo

The month of literary abandon is here, and I'm so damn excited!
I've started my book. I'm 777 words into it. My goal for Nov. 1st is a 5k run.
1667 words a day.
1552 if I finish this "5k First Day" challenge.
Word warring with my friends.
Let's fucking do this. Let's write a book.
This, my friends, and the best fucking girl in the world are the only things that are good in my life right now. Honestly that makes my eyes water, because it's fucking beautiful and simplistic.
Who knew trying to write 50,000 words in 30 days would feel so good?

I'm exhausted.
I don't want to be in school anymore. I'm freezing, tired, and I just want to curl up under the blanket & be with the best girl in the world.
I miss you

I'm waiting

Anticipation's risin'. Where's your response? I can't wait to see what you've got to say now that I've stood up for myself. I honestly wish that you could read this. That you knew this existed, so you can see just how fucking happy I am without you trying to bring me down.

I'm not letting you put a damper on my week, and I'm sure as hell not letting your bad attitude and negative thoughts affect me.

...

And while we're on the subject of people, I still don't like you (different person than above). While you're stupid, pathetic, and completely hypocritical, I don't hate you. I just want you to fuck off and leave us alone. It's not even like you would do anything to us because you're afraid to confront us. If you want to fucking talk shit about the people I love, you can tell me to my goddamn face, and you can tell it to theirs. Quit hiding behind blogger, facebook, and texts. Much like I don't want to deal with the previously mentioned person's shit, I don't want to deal with yours. I don't care if you talk shit about me, her, or any of my friends, and I don't hear it. In fact, I don't care what you think, because it's insignificant and doesn't matter. And I hope that you read this, and I hope that you know I'm talking about you. This statement is true for the above.

...

As a complete change of pace, I'm happy. I'm in love. I'm going to get through today and the rest of the week so I can be with you, baby.

Reprogramming Mental Preprogramming

No matter what happens next, you're going to have to trust me when I say that I'll still love you.

I honestly don't know what qualities about me make me an apparent asshole and a dick. I'm not sure that I did anything wrong at all. In fact, I'm pretty sure of it. It just seems like every time I have stuff going for me, someone views me as if I'm a horrible person.

However, I don't really give a damn. Because I'm done trying to make people happy. I'm done trying to sacrifice things that will benefit me, just so other people can be satisfied and they can rest easy. Sure, disregard the fact that Jon really needed this. Disregard the fact that Jon is finally happy. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

I know that sounds like a selfish thing to say, but in all honesty EVERYTHING we do as human beings is somewhat selfish. It's not a bad thing. It's human nature. It's programmed into our very being. As much as you want to, you can't Reprogram Mental Preprogramming.

Honestly, I'm not going to let you ruin my day or my week. I'll see you soon. And when I do, I'll smile and greet you as an old friend, not a foe.

You call her a bitch, you call me a dick, you say one more goddamn thing and I'll fucking leave. And I'll take my position in the band with me.

We are all freaks living in recession/if we don't move on I'll forever be stuck

NaNoWriMo?

Today I think is a good day to talk about NaNoWriMo.

NaNoWriMo (short for National Novel Writing Month), is a month where writers everywhere stop what they're doing for the whole month of November to write a 50,000 word novel. Prizes you ask?

"All winners will get an official "Winner" web badge and a PDF Winner's Certificate.

The real prize in NaNoWriMo is the manuscript itself, and the exhilarating feeling of setting an ambitious creative goal and nailing it. And the $1,000,000.

Just kidding about the $1,000,000!"

so, basically what we're going to do is write 50,000 words between Nov. 1st and 30th. Wish me luck!

Today I Think

Today is a good day I think to post on my blog.

Why is the world against us? We try harder and harder to be together, and yet, nothing happens. To quote Isaac Newton:

"Actioni contrariam semper et aequalem esse reactionem: sive corporum duorum actiones in se mutuo semper esse aequales et in partes contrarias dirigi."

Or, in English:

"To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction: or the forces of two bodies on each other are always equal and are directed in opposite directions."

While this is physics, we can easily apply this to our situation. Every action we've taken to be together, there has been an equal and opposite reaction. The more effort we make to see each other, the more we are pulled apart. Such is my suggestion:

Let's make an effort to not be together. That way, the equal and opposite reaction is to force us to be together. Then, we'll be happy. Sound like a good plan?

...

So, I can't stand the people I must sit with for the final class of the day. We're soon going to be leaving --- It's almost 3:00, and that means that we'll have 35 more minutes left in class. I had a headache, but it's passed. I'm not terribly hungry, despite the fact that I haven't had any food at all today besides gum. I haven't had the appetite for breakfast, nor lunch lately. I hope it's not anything serious. I just haven't been hungry.

I feel terrible right now, because I miss the most wonderful girl in the world. She's so goddamn gorgeous, and amazing. I'm so damn lucky. I miss her and love her.

My fading sanity

I can't be assed to deal with these people day in and day out. I can feel my sanity slowly going. I don't really know whether or not to break down and cry or break down and punch someone in the face. If I didn't have so much goddamn strain this trimester of school, I wouldn't feel so bad. Here is a list of things I need to do:

• Get a job
• Get a driver's permit
• Apply to colleges
• Graduation Project Paper
• Graduation Project presentation
• Graduation Project website

While small, this list is filled with some pretty huge things. And this is just the beginning of the school year!! Not to mention my grad project teacher keeps laying on layer upon layer of work. I'm not even done with the rough draft of my paper. Now I'm worried that I'm screwed, that I won't be able to graduate. Everyone's putting a huge amount of stress on all these ridiculous fucking things and I can't handle it. Great. Now it feels like I'm going to vomit. I can't focus on my work at all. I honestly keep trying to start it, but my stomach hurts, I feel nauseous, and I'm in such a terrible mood. I'm really sorry for bitching, I just want the week to be over.

Caviar

Fighting everyone that I see
Learning when and where not to be

I'm complaining a lot lately. And I hate complaining a lot. So, this will be a change of pace.

You asked me if we'd still be together a year from now. You asked me if, when I headed off to college, that we'd still be together. I laughed at that question. Of course I would laugh. Darling, when we made our future plans, I meant it.

I'm applying to college. I'm planning on being 30-45 minutes away (60 minutes, at max). I'll be able to drive, so I'm coming back every weekend. Question is, are you going to be there waiting for me? I hope so. I'll see you today, and that will make today better. I'll see you again tomorrow and then we'll be together Friday as well. Everything will be wonderful, and we'll get through the week. I promise.

You, speak of awe
and make every word taste sweet

Vapidity

Why must I surround myself with people that are so goddamn boring and so annoying?
No one here says anything of any importance. It's draining all of my energy. And then they wonder why I sit here with my music extremely loud, and why I use headphones that rape your ear. So I can't hear their stupid shit.

Honestly, it's real irritating when people tell you about their life. And not the interesting stories like, "You'll never guess what happened to me yesterday............. lololololololololol!" No, nothing like that. The people that are telling me about their life are people who relate every single detail that you don't give a damn about. "So, I painted my nails the prettiest pink yesterday, but they must have gotten ruined while I slept!" or "Yeah, I just got this new app for my phone that makes all the other apps run 1.5% faster!". Bullshit.

Disappear

Haven't you ever wished that you could just go away in a cave, disappear from absolutely everyone, and never contact anyone? Haven't you ever wondered what people would think in that case? How they would wonder where you've gone? They'd say, "Where has my friend gone?" They'd say, "where has my child gone?" They wouldn't know.

I wouldn't do it out of hate, or the fact that I want to be alone, or that I'm depressed and I just don't want to deal with people, I'd just want to do it just to see what would happen. I would do it just to see how people would react to someone completely dropping off of the radar. I wouldn't even leave my home. I'd just stay inside my house for a year. I'd tell my parents not to let anyone in. I'd tell them not to give me the phone when my friends would call.

Then I'd show up a year later. I'd act completely normal. Everyone would ask me, "What happened to you? Where have you been?" and I'd say, "Why did you ask? Did something happen to me?" and they'd say, "What? You've disappeared for an entire year!" and I'd say something to the effect of, "No I haven't, I've been here the whole time." just to mess with their heads.

There's only one person I would tell, and that's because I could never do that to her and make her worry like that, because I love her.

Another day

Back to the old grind.
Get up at 5:45
Shower until 6:00

If status = still tired
Yes: Go back to sleep until 6:40
No: Stay awake & browse the interbutts

leave at 7:00
catch a bus at 7:10-7:20
arrive at school at 7:30
sit in hallway until 8:00
classes until 3:35
hang around until 6:00 (6:30, at the latest)
etc. until anywhere from 10:30-2:30
brush teeth
sleep
repeat

Profound thoughts

Don't you just wish you had something profound & deep to say, every time the situation calls for it?

I sure wish I had something like that to say at the beginning of these blog posts. However, this isn't the case.

I'm feeling better compared to my last post. Again, these blogs must be helping.

You know what pisses me off? Ugly people. Not simply their looks, but just all around ugly. When the very words that pour from their mouths are just terrible abominations of the English language, that's what pisses me off. A prime example sits across the classroom from me. I can hear her all the way over here, and it slowly fills me with disgust. It sounds like she has a lump in her throat. I can feel her ugly words inside my head, filling it to the point where they're spilling out of my ears. It's not like I can just ignore her, because everyone in the room is quiet, and there's no-one else I can talk to as a palate-cleanser.

Anyways, I'm pretty proud of myself because I worked for an hour straight, and that's saying something. I decided to take a break to blog. I've only 20 minutes left in this class. Hopefully these last 20 minutes go by smoothly.

I'm not in the mood for this shit.

Why can't the world just back the fuck off for at least one day, so everyone could leave us the fuck alone & we can just spend time together?

I don't want to be in this school today. I'm annoyed by almost everyone here except for at least 3 people. I don't want to talk to anyone in school today. I only really want to talk to one person, and they know who they are.

I told you. I'm fucking annoyed.

I'll laugh today. I'll smile. I can't promise it won't be fake though.

Why can't anyone just see that I'm not in the mood for stupid shit? I just want today to be over.

I ran across the street, to see you
To hold your hand, to feel you
I kissed you, hugged, you, held you close,
and it turned out to be a daydream.

Most of these students, sitting in the room, not paying attention at all.
A teacher, giving a lecture that falls on deaf & distracted ears.
And a Seventeen year-old young man, who misses you.

I'm such a fucking sap. I always thought I wouldn't ever be like this.
I used to think that I would be less of a man, if I said "I miss you" an hour after I get off the phone.
I obviously don't think like that anymore.

In Eight days, it'll be Two months.
I don't mind when you fall asleep before we get a chance to talk.
I love your letters, & I love your smile, & I love your laugh, & I love your gorgeous eyes.

I love you.

Alex English

This has to be a world record. 4 blog posts in one day. I just can't leave this alone.
I'm sitting in class today, bored as hell. I have a half-hour left in this block, and I'm done with the most brutal class of the day.

Just keep your arms around me. I won't let your body touch, won't let it touch the ground. Just keep your eyes on me. And let me be your gravity. Until you can, can sleep sound.

So, I haven't written a song in quite a while. Maybe I'll do that sometime real soon.

I'm feeling better. I felt like there was a weight on my shoulders, but I'm doing a hell of a lot better now that I've been constantly blogging.

This blog's a bunch of trash. Look how quickly Jon changes his mind from "I feel better from constantly blogging" to "I think this blog is utter trash". Oh well.

The best idea I've ever heard was cutting the week short & just spending time together, alone, and not having to worry about anyone at all. I love that idea. I just wish it were possible.

Yet again

another blog post.
I feel better now that I'm not wasting energy on pathetic people. I've forgotten my previous method for happiness:

Don't let people's attitudes dictate how you feel. Honestly, people can hate me all they want. I'm not going to let it ruin my day. Because today, I get to see the most beautiful, amazing girl. That's all I've wanted all week, so frankly, I don't give a damn as to what others have to say.

Like I said in my last post, I really am tired, though. I'm just plain out exhausted. Insomnia has gotten the best of me for two days in a row, and it's not fair. But what can I do? There's nothing I, myself can do to cure it, and there is where the problem lies.

I wish I could cure everything. I wish I could make everyone feel better. I wish I could cure anger, hatred, and sorrow. Again, this isn't the case. People won't listen, no matter how much sense you fucking make.

So, I can't do anything but sit here and listen to angry people. I have to sit here and listen to people bitch each other out for no real reason. But it's okay. No matter how much someone done goofs, I could never hate them. Hatred is an illness, and people who hate others are the ill.

Anyways, right now I have mixed feelings of exhaustion, hunger, thirst, & love, along with the fact that I miss that beautiful, wonderful girl I mentioned.

I hope today goes by faster.

I'm Tired.

I'm sick of people's shit.

I'm tired of people in general.
I'm tired of people who are pissed at other people for no reason.
I'm tired of people who are just wasting their time & energy on stupid things
I'm tired of people who are not worth the time of day
I'm tired of people who are tired of people
I'm tired of people
I'm tired of
I'm tired.

Maybe I shouldn't just give up on people, however.
I love my friends to death. I love my girlfriend so much that it fucking hurts.
So maybe I shouldn't give up on people.
I just don't have the energy to keep dwelling on people who aren't worth it.

Hello, World!

The first program you will ever write in any Java class ever.


class HelloWorld
{
public static void main(String args[])
{
System.out.println("Hello World!");
}
}


Black & White. Clear as day.
I guess this post is my "Hello World" code.
I'm Jon. This is my blog. Welcome. I doubt anyone is reading, and frankly I don't give a damn, because this is where I can post my thoughts & vent.